Yesterday, I was making caramel apples for The Moo Girl's class party. Twenty-three caramel apples. And, if I wanted one for the teacher and student teacher, that would make twenty-five. That's a lot of caramel apples!

Briefly, a little inside to my personality: I never do anything the "simple" way. If I am going to make a treat for the class party, I might as well make it a cool treat. Plain caramel apples, although still a tasty treat, are just not the same as caramel apples rolled in chocolate chips and marshmallows and topped with white chocolate drizzle. It makes my husband crazy. He thinks that my "projects" are a colossal waste of time. Sure, I don't just mail out invitations to the birthday party, I hand make 25 tent-shaped invitations with the pull-out birthday information. I suppose if I was mailing invitations every week or bringing in class treats all the time, my attitude would be different. As I limit myself to providing treats for one class party a year, I try to get a little fun and creative that one time.

Not listening to my husband (it wouldn't be the first time), I make my caramel apples. The Moo Girl was in the dining room working on homework while I caramelized away. OF COURSE, she wanted to make some of the caramel apples. Into the kitchen, a little seven year old girl sized mouse walks in to check my work. "I can I please make just one?" she asks.

"Okay, you can make one apple, but then back to your homework!" I tell her.

The Moo Girl dips the apple in the caramel. With some protests coming from The Moo, I help her wipe off the excess caramel on the pan. Over to the chocolate chips we head. And, as if one cue, The Moo Girl starts to make a giant caramel mess. These are apples being taken into the classroom and not only did The Moo make a mess of the apple, she also added to my clean up needs. OF COURSE, she would make a mess. She is only seven and this was a gooey, candy coated project. All the same, I needed a moment as I looked at the small disaster. *big breath*

"Thank you so much for your help, but I think that I will need to finish this apple for you," I tell her kindly.

The Moo Girl gives me her classic "crazy lady" look. It looks something like this:

Notice the one eyebrow up. That is her signature look. "You don't sound very grateful," she tells me skeptically.

I laugh to myself. What can I say? She was totally right! I wasn't grateful... but I was trying to be nice! And, I really didn't expect to be called out by her.

A couple weeks ago, Gymboree had a great sale. Gymboree. Ah, it is such a weakness. I just can't resist the cute little kid's clothes. And, I was equipment with a 30% off coupon!

With my coupon firmly glasped in my hand, I immediatly headed for the sale racks. Thirty percent off is nice, but 30% off an item already on sale! Faboulous! From the sale rack, I found The Moo Girl what I thought was a cute, cute outfit. With the whole outfit costing me less than $15, I was thrilled with my purchase.

I brought the outfit home. Excited, I pulled the outfit out to see what The Moo Girl thought.

"Do you like the outfit I bought you?" I ask The Moo Girl.

"Yes!" The Moo Girl replies. After a short pause, she addes, "but if I didn't like the outfit, I wouldn't tell you."

"Wait. *pause* Do you like the outfit or not?" I question.

"I do like the outfit," she tells me, "but if I didn't, I wouldn't tell you because I don't want to hurt your feelings."

"Really, Moo! If you don't like this outfit I got for you, we can return it to the store. You won't hurt my feelings!" I implore.

At that point, she grabs the outfit and starts to put it on. I think however, I still heard her mumbling under her breath that if she didn't like the outfit, there was no way she was going to let me know. I just don't know what I am supposed to think.

My mom and The Moo Girl were chatting:

The Moo Girl: If you could have one thing, I bet I know what you would pick.

My mom: World peace?

The Moo Girl: Well, yeah... world peace... plus me and Jellybean!

My mom: Definitely you and Jellybean! I bet I know what you would pick if you could one thing.

The Moo Girl: World peace, my mom, my dad, you, Buba, and Jellybean! *pause* And no littering!

(BTW, this is another 3 a.m. posting! I have stopped feeding Jellybean between bedtime and 4 a.m. When she cries, I pick her up, rock her for a couple minutes and put her back in bed. If she continues to cry, I repeat the routine until she falls asleep. Once she learns that waking up will not get her food, she is supposed to keep sleeping. So far it has not worked! Although she does not act like she is really hungry, all this system has done so far is make her wake up every two hours instead of three! I must admit, I am really conflicted... All she wants is to be with me. She wakes up all the time because she misses me in her sleep. Is that so bad? Sure, I can barely function during the day, but there will be a point in her life when she wants nothing to do with me and I will miss these days!)

"I'm sad and my pants fell down!" The Moo Girl sobbed tonight. The poor girl. Two tragedies! Sadness and the lack of pants. What is a girl to do?

I had a flashback today to a time when The Moo Girl was two.

Setting:

I had just started a new job. The Moo Girl and I went into my work briefly to pick up some papers. My new boss sees me with my daughter and comes over to chat.

And the modifying Moo Girl'ism:

After our conversation, I saw my Goodbyes and The Moo Girls says, "See ya, Sucker!"

No, no, no, no, no. She did NOT just say that?! To my new boss who I hardly know? With my head hung, we quickly left.

I don't remember the scenario exactly but it was probably something along the following:

I was selflessly cooking dinner in the kitchen. I know that I came out of the kitchen and said something to T. Dum and The Moo Girl. My guess as to what I said? Something like, "While I am emptying the dishwasher and cooking dinner, can I get you something to drink? And, do you two want me to make some type of homemade dessert while I tend to your every needs?"

What I do remember was that at some point The Moo Girl said to me, "Oh mom, you are so old school."

Old school? Old school! You're seven, kid! What do you know about old school? Or even new school. I'm so old school? *hmpf*

The Moo Girl has started telling everyone, "Our house is the one next door to the house where all the trees fell."

What a cutie-pie. She doesn't realize that everyone in King County falls into one of two categories:

1. The house next door to the house where all the trees fell

2. The house that had all the trees fall

I am so thankful that we fell into category one!

On Thanksgiving, we watched Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. At the end of the parade, there is always Santa Clause. As we got to the end of the parade and saw Santa The Moo Girl said, "That is not Santa Clause!" As she paused, I began to wonder if she still believed in Santa Clause, but then she continued, "His beard is not long enough. Besides, how can we call him at the North Pole and ask him to come down for a parade? There are not any phones at the North Pole!" Sounds like good logic!

A couple days after the parade we went to the mall to see Santa and get our traditional Christmas photo. As we were getting ready to leave The Moo Girl told her dad, "Maybe I should bring a book and a pen in case it is the real Santa Clause. Then, I could get his autograph. Wait just a minute, Dad!" She then runs into her room and comes back with her "autograph book", last year's yearbook. "I have lots of autographs in here!" she explains. She wanted Santa to sign her yearbook... What a magical time in life.

This is a story from my mother...

The Moo Girl and my mom were shopping together at the mall. My mom had arrived a coupon in the mail for Victoria's Secret ($10 off a purchase of $10 or more) that she wanted to use. So, together they journey into the store. As Victoria's Secrets was having a sale, she was perusing the sale merchandise looking for a great bargain to use with her coupon. This left The Moo Girl to look around the store... Although this is not the first time that she has been in the store, this was the first time that she has really taken in her surroundings while there.

"This store is kind of a hot store," The Moo Girl concludes, "But, not a hot store like hot and cold... But hot, like saxy."

Where did she learn the term sexy? I don't know. We explained to her that sexy is an adult word... And that she is NOT shopping at Victoria's Secrets until she is 40.

The Moo Girl continues to leave little "hints" around the house about Christmas. Here is her latest hint:

Silly little girl... By the way, J.d. is Jellybean. The "d" should really be a "b" but she is still having a hard time with letter reversal. This letter cracked me up.

T. Dum's birthday is coming up soon. Tonight, The Moo Girl was talking to Grandma Ooo's on the phone. During their conversation, Grandma Ooo's asked The Moo Girl what her dad wanted for his birthday. The Moo Girl told her that he wanted bottle caps. Why bottle caps? I just don't know. She then proceeded to ask Grandma Ooo's if she wanted to go in on the present. "Oh, just write my name on the card!"

Since Grandma Ooo's decided not to get T. Dum bottle caps for his birthday, The Moo Girl was left without a birthday present for her father. I asked her what she wanted to give him for his birthday. "Give me a bar of soap and I can make him a ducky," she tells me. Hmm... The Moo Girl walks herself into the bathroom and starts pawing through the cabinets. She pulls out a nail file and a bar of soap from a hotel and asks if she can make the ducky using both. What the heck! Knowing the mess that was to come, I made her work in the bathtub. Heck, a girl can always use nail file experience in case she ever gets thrown in jail and needs to file her way out!

Last year, out of the blue, The Moo Girl told me that there were two things she hated about school: homework and cheerleaders. I found this statement particularly funny because there are not any cheerleaders at her school.

Tonight, to see if anything has changed, I asked her what she hated about school. Homework, she still hates homework (even though she is very excited to work on some of her homework assignments). To add to homework, she said that she hates substitute teachers and having to write 100 sentences. I understand not liking substitute teacher; I have seen her substitute teacher! But, writing 100 sentences? Sure, writing 100 sentences would not be fun, but she has never been asked to write so much. Not even close! I guess that it is just her biggest fear.

The Moo Girl has decided what she wants for Christmas... Are we in trouble! As a hint, she left us little notes all over the house. There were notes on both our computers, the couch, the coffee table, Jellybean's changing table, everywhere. I have thrown several of her notes away, but I was still able to walk through the house and take several pictures of remaining notes. Can you guess what she wants for Christmas?

"What do you want to be when you grow up, Moo Girl?" I asked.

"A monkey!" she responded with a big smile and a laugh. Monkeys are The Moo Girl's (current) favorite animals. She likes their tails.

Thinking that she is kidding, I tell her with a smile, "You can't be a monkey. You are a girl! What do you really want to be when you grow up?"

"I don't know," she tells me.

"A princess? A zoologist who takes care of monkeys?" I suggest, "You aren't deciding your future now, you can always change your mind later." 

"I can't be a princess since you are not a queen. And, I don't want to pick up monkey pool," she explains, "Whatever I pick, I want to keep forever. I don't want to change my mind."

"Well, then write down that you want to be a monkey. Maybe advancements in modern medicine will allow you to be a monkey in the future," I suggest, "Do you want to be a monkey?" 

"Of course I do!" The Moo Girl states as she puts her head down on the table, "But now I know I can never be one."

We decide to take a break from the assignment so that she can think future. At great length, she finally decided what she wants to be when she grows up, a ninja!

I used to have a job where I worked with kids. Although I have forgotten many of the funny things they have said to me, two quotes stick in my memory. Both quotes were said by little girls in very happy, innocent, sincere voices.

Quote one: "I painted my own toenails. My mom said that I made a huge mess."

I can imagine... There was fingernail polish all over her toes. Very little flesh tone, lots of hot pink.

Quote two: "I started my haircut in my room with my art scissors and we finished it at Super Cuts!"

Oh really, I can't tell...  Okay, I could tell! It was very short hair.

I had thought that The Moo Girl had grown out of the cutting her own hair stage. But, my mother has always told me that every kid either cut their own hair or someone else's. For years, we have been telling/reminding her that scissors are only for paper. But... it is amazing how quickly kids forget. T. Dum was walking by The Moo Girl's room and asks, "What are you doing wrong?" as he passes on his way outside. He wasn’t serious when he made the comment, but oh how right he was to suspect her of bad behavior. Moments later she emerges from her room and quickly heads outside to hang out in the yard. I think that she was trying to avoid me.

Ten minutes later, she comes back inside and sits down next to me. "Mom, if I tell you something do you promise not to send me to my room?" she asks.

Oh no. That is never a good start.

"Moo Girl," I start to explain that I can't promise I won't send her to her room, but she needs to be honest and upfront. By trying to be sneaky and not telling the truth, I will be more upset with her later. This conversation does not progress very far when I look at her little head, "Did you cut your hair?!"

"Yes," her meek little voice replies.

Why couldn’t she have cut someone else’s hair? Why her own??? She had such beautiful long hair and I have already invested in some cute hair bands for this next year of school! 

"Is this what you came inside to tell me?" I ask her. Her head nods yes. "Why did you cut your hair?" I proceed.

"Because I was hot," The Moo Girl tells me.

So, one bad haircut later, we are on our way to Grandma's house to see if she can fix The Moo Girl's hair. Grandma cut hair in her younger days and had her own saloon, so she has always cut The Moo Girl's hair. She was able to salvage some of The Moo Girl's hair... she now has bangs and a bit of a mullet. And everyone looks mullets!!! The Moo Girl is rather excited about her new bangs. She thinks that they are fabulous!

The Moo Girl's New Mullet

"You know that you are not supposed to cut your hair yourself," Grandma comments. Her little head nods yes. Grandma continues, "We only cut paper with scissors." Again, another yes. "Are you going to cut your hair again by yourself?" Grandma asks her.

"No, I'm not hot anymore," The Moo Girl replies.

Looking forward to a year full of pig tails and headbands!

The Moo Girl, when asked, still claims that she is a vegetarian. However, as we are out of Kid's Cuisine, I no longer hear vegetarian comments about dinner. "Are we having meat, you know, I am a vegetarian," has gone to the wayside. She still claims that she is a cute vegetarian and cute vegetarians have a different set of standards than regular vegetarians. Cute vegetarians, for example, eat hamburgers.

Tonight for dinner, we had ribs. Very yummy ribs. Although we don't live in the South, T. Dum does come from a long line of cowboys. His father is a third or fourth (I don't remember) generation native Arizonian. In Arizona, it is rare to find anyone born in the state... much less having lived there for generations. All that cowboy blood has lead to a man who appreciates a good barbeque! And a daughter who loves to eat good meat, even if she is a vegetarian.

The Cowboys, T. Dum and his Dad

My Little Vegetarian

The Moo Girl and T. Dum enjoying their meat! Did I get any on my face?